The Biggest Mistake People Make on Their Life’s Journey

When I toast the New Year, I feel enthusiastic about what positive possibilities await me. I know the year will be filled with accomplished goals as well as unexpected events that can be uplifting or draining. Goals require that I plan and take action to accomplish the results I want. The harsh surprises challenge me to accept and allow in order to manage them successfully.

The biggest mistake I think people make on their journey through life is to judge and resist what happens through and to them. While you may have contributed to a negative outcome, self-blame and forcing things to be your way prevent you from learning and changing. Life events—loss of a job or relationship, health challenge, financial setback, death of a loved one and more—interrupt your plans and may even change your course. While these setbacks are stressful and painful, they also offer an opportunity to evolve personally—physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

You react to trouble with worry, sadness, helplessness, anger and/or guilt. This is natural. When you blame yourself, others or life, you are wasting time and energy. You are resisting what is and tirelessly swimming upstream instead of with the current. Negative emotions and coping behaviors limit your ability to face yourself and make choices that support you. They prevent you from moving on with ease and grace.

Some life events take longer than others to accept, manage and resolve. However, if you are able to maintain a level of non-attachment and positive attitude while doing your best, you are on your way to surviving, thriving and making the most of each New Year.

Here are a few tips to help you flow with, instead of resist, what 2015 holds for you:

Accept instead of judge – Self: If there is something you want to change about yourself, do it with compassion, never making yourself wrong. Others: Instead of trying to change people, accept them for who they are, including their limitations. Situations: When a disruptive event happens in your life, do not judge it as good or bad. Instead, be aware of what is happening and how you feel. (You are not a failure or being punished.) Acceptance leads to clarity and appropriate, empowering actions.

Allow instead of resist – How would you live your life if you believed that a Higher Power is working with you and you could not make a mistake? I hope you would open your hands and heart rather than close them in the midst of a disappointment or crisis. When you understand how to go with the flow, you will be guided to a positive destination and receive the support you need to get there.

Take charge of what is within your power to change – Remind yourself that in any given moment in time you are doing your best—even if it feels like you are missing the mark. Without judgments you are more likely to make changes and take actions that empower you, improve your relationships, accomplish your goals and bring meaning into your life.

Focus on the positive – Instead of dwelling on the problem, focus on a solution that will work for you; it might even work for others. Positive thinking lifts you out of a limiting past and promotes an abundant future. By focusing on a positive outcome in the present, you heal the past and change your future because positive thoughts and feelings generate the kind of energy that fuels your vision.

You hear a lot about setting your intentions and making plans to accomplish goals at the beginning of a New Year. Are you prepared to cope with the unexpected? These few strategies will bring more ease into your body, mind, soul and life because accepting and allowing are as important as planning and doing. I encourage you to face yourself and your life with more acceptance and flow. You will turn any adversity into a stepping stone toward greater aliveness and serenity.

May 2015 treat you kindly and fulfill your heart’s desires!

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